The Eye of the Storm

"Don't Cry for Me-"

No, not Argentina, sorry! Was almost about to break into song there, but I'll spare everyone!

Just a little something to bring you in he-he!

Anyway, I've just been feeling different lately, especially with the things that I feel like writing about. I've told you this in the past that I love writing. It is a very calm stress reliever for me at many times. However, when thinking of something else to write about in future posts, I've been thinking about some different perspectives and topics.

The title of this blog wasn't just a sly hook, but there is a relation I would like to make to the song it references to how I've been thinking about life and myself. I don't know if a lot of you feel this way, if you do, I really hope that I can shed more light on some of the facts associated with these feelings.

Over the past little while, I've been doing extensive internal analysis with myself. Others would coin it as "Soul Searching", but the meaning is the same. What I do as a missionary is invite people to Jesus Christ and teach them learn about the gospel he established and how it has hereby been restored.

I'm telling you this to let you know how I feel, and then to hopefully connect with something that you, the reader, might be feeling. Teaching people about the gospel is fairly easy, in actuality. As we know from the Bible, and other scriptures, the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit testifies and influences truth through everyone. Teaching is easy, because the Holy Spirit helps it to be easy. We, as missionaries, are just messengers and vessels through which the Spirit can be felt. The essence of true conversion is the testimony that the Holy Ghost gives to each and every person. We, the missionaries, can't convert anyone-that's the Holy Spirit's job. Ours is only to create the opportunities. People will accept it or not, and that's one of the benefits, at least for our feelings as teachers, from people's agency.

I don't want to get off on a tangent about the Holy Ghost right now, because I will discuss him and his role in depth another time, but I want to make a related between teaching people and being a missionary, and then still being human and a normal person.

I made a reference to the song, Don't Cry for Me Argentina, from the Broadway musical Evita, because it has an interesting message, and I just felt like I could connect with some of the feelings I've gotten from it. I don't know why this happened. I've been involved with that musical in the past, but something about it really has been pressing on my mind lately.

The song relates Eva Peron's feelings to the people of Argentina. She first relates her experiences as she aspired for more in life, and how she had to climb to the top for freedom. She didn't like the poor life, and so she wanted to reach for the stars. She then exhorts them, the people, not to weep for her, and that she'll always be with them. Like I said, I don't know why this certain song has been coming to my mind lately, but within the song I think there is some very special messages for life.

I don't want you, the reader, to take my relation and comparison to this famous musical creation literally. I want you to actually listen. Listen to the feelings and emotions that come into your heart if you ever get to listen to the song.

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange. When I try to explain how I feel...

I hope you focus on the feelings and emotions that the tune and tone of the song bring. Sometimes in life we feel that we can't properly explain ourselves to people. I don't know what the reason may be. But we try our hardest to be true to ourselves and to try and grow as individuals.

I find myself a lot of times like a small boat, sitting in the middle of a hurricane-the eye of the storm, and looking all around me at the treacherous winds. Every time I might try to navigate out of the storm, I can't because of the circling barriers of wind. I'm not broken or shattered, because I'm in the eye of the storm, but I'm not going anywhere either. It's this whirlwind wind of repetition. It may be with experiences, thoughts, feelings, life-whatever you may have felt this way about. Sometimes we just have to think inward and pull ourselves up.

The song I referenced, disregarding the context in the actual play, has a very powerful, and individualistic view. I think we need to reach for the stars. We may be in a storm of hatred or uncertainty, but I think if we just first, trust in Jesus Christ, and, second, realize that we're more important than we think we are, we can go far and reach for that freedom.

I haven't fully navigated out of the storm. Life is a storm, and I think, at least for me personally, I'm going to be battling with Life's winds for a while, but I take comfort in the fact that I'm still sailing and that, even though there may be some fierce winds, each of us control whether our boat shatters, or whether we keep on navigating.

I testify of the power of the scriptures. They are truly a map to life. I know that Jesus is my savior and that he can always help us through that storm way. I'm not perfect, and I'm still pressing on and navigating, but I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to navigate alone. I have wonderful friends and family with me, taking this treacherous journey with me.

Finally, my wonderful readers, thank you for continuing to take comfort from the words that I speak. I really hope and intend for them to be a loving comfort for you, and for them to make you feel a bit better. Know that a caring friend is never far away if you need one. I love all of you, and I'm grateful for the opportunity and the chance to make the journey a little bit brighter. I do love the last part of the song that I've mentioned earlier, and that is what I'll leave you with:

"But all you have to do is look at me to know, That every word is true..."

Don't Cry for Me Argentina Lyric Excerpts
Copyright Andrew Lloyd Webber

Talents for the Ages

Something in which I've continued to work on throughout my life so far up to this point, is what skills I actually have inside me? What am I going to be able to accomplish, and what else could I learn to add to my personality? Have you ever noticed the fact that you aren't really the same as the person who might be sitting right next to you? Ever wonder why you haven't met someone exactly like you? It's because we're all individuals-we all think, act, and experience different situations and moments in our lives that shape our nature and our being. If you think about it, it's a good thing that you aren't like that guy or girl next to you, isn't it? How would you ever win an argument against yourself? Forget about it. We're all different for a reason, and it's those difference that can help us grow our talents, and our skills, and our likes.

For me personally-music and literature have been something that I've held dear to my heart for a long while now. My family and I have always been musically inclined, and my love for music has grown every time I'm involved with it. My mother is a professional musician, and my dad has also had musical experience. They actually met because of music, within the BYU (Brigham Young University) Singers, Choral group. I think it would be good to say that music has been a big influence for me.

Along with music, I've always loved the art of literature and English. I enjoy reading books, learning knew things, and studying the English language  Just recently, about three years ago, I started looking at literature and English in a different light. I had always loved English throughout school, even though I had a few teachers who were a bit on the edge. There were days when I just wanted to burn my English notebook, but luckily those weren't very frequent. Throughout school, it'd always been about learning the proper function and structure of the language, as well as writing essays and reading books. Like I said: I love books, but it was hard sometimes. I told you that my view had shifted slightly about three years ago, and that's because I discovered a new skill-writing.

Sure-I wrote essays, papers, portfolios of course, but this was all for school academia. I liked learning and school, but other then teaching you and learning for yourself, you're not really doing anything for anyone else at that moment. But with writing, actually being able to apply the learning, and get the things that spin around in your head and imagination down on paper, was astounding.

Never underestimate or undermine yourself by telling yourself that you're not good enough, or that you could never be as "fill in the blank" as "whatever person or thing". Just stop it. The world has such a twisted view of what happiness and joy is, and it's only getting worse my friends. You think popularity, money, and cars are the only things you need? No they're not. Singly going after popularity leads to pride and then leads to destruction; singly going after money leads to greed and then leads to bankruptcy or crime; and all these other things that are materialistic that don't really matter. If you have all these are you bad? No of course not :)! You're really blessed, but I hope that you're using it the right way.

Everybody has something. Some talent that they can use or discover that they can magnify and make bigger to share with the world and with their friends. Music and Writing are two of mine that I've attempted to share with people. And you know what one of the best feelings is that I would take every time over fake popularity. I've heard a few times-it doesn't happen a lot, but when it does it's truly special, I've heard a few times a phrase similar to this one. "Mark, thank you, you have inspired me to do "something." I can't tell you how humbling and how deep that hits home for me. It's just my voice-they are only words that I make up when I use these talents. How could someone say that to me? How could I make a difference with just that? Well the fact is I did. Just by using it with the intent of making people happy and letting them have their own personal experiences with either of the examples I've shared.

I've held onto that throughout my journey so far. And now I'm on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, teaching people about Jesus Christ and trying to help people feel the love from their Heavenly Father and from me ^_^! I hope that I can inspire you-yes you right now reading, to do something great. These are just two examples of things you can discover for yourself. Just start doing something, work at it, then you'll find that you really are special no matter who you are. We all have talents, and like Jesus' states in his parable of the ten talents written within the New Testament-we all need to multiply our talents and share them with people, not hide them away to rust and recede.

I testify that you are loved :D! And that you are special, and I hope that if you read this that you're day has been brightened  I love you and want to give you as much comfort and hugs as I can :)! Have a great time, and a good week, whenever you read this okay?

Till we meet again ;)!