A Dark Agent

There is something that I want to share with all of you wonderful followers. Something that has hit home for me really hard.

I don't know how many of you have experienced that entrenching and debilitating power of Depression, but it is an insidious agent that has the power to cripple the mightiest of foes. Why is it so hard to deal with? To recognize? To see? Why is it so prevalent in this world today?

It's a real scary thought. To think that your very mentality is being attacked by environmental and chemical combatants, that you can't necessarily see. I think that is the start of why it is so dangerous. Unlike a Flu virus or a Cold, Depression isn't immediately recognizable. It's silent, it's mental, it's emotional. If I'm coughing or vomiting, I can probably assume that I might have some sort of virus. But how could I know if Depression might be looming around my body? There are bad hair days, there are people how just push our buttons the wrong way, and there is the every present social shame of admitting that you might have a problem with your mind. It is very scary.

I'm going to quote one of our Church Authorities a lot during my blog today, because he puts it so simple and concise as to what Depression is, and what can be done about it. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."*
 

I like the word complexity. Depression and Mental Illness is a complex problem. It is something that is real. Right here. Right now. We need to face the reality. "There should be no more shame..." What does that mean to you? My heart and feelings goes out to those who are battling with such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's, Dementia, and other forms of serious mental illness. It is so painful to watch someone go through something so horrible, especially when you have to witness the pain from the family members of the person afflicted. I can't tell you how much what Elder Holland said about this disease meant to me. About God's love, he states:

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson states, “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart..."*
 

There is a lot of judgement that goes on in the world today. Everything is about me. What can I get? How can I get above that person? Why don't I have that instead of him? It seems that judgment intensifies when persons afflicted with Depression come to a realization of their affliction. It's simply horrible. My heart and empathy goes out to those who have been ostracized because of their illness. There is no more destructive act that can happen, in relation to depression, then to have those you thought were by your side, turn judgemental and condescending for something that you or someone close is battling with.

Like I said, and like Elder Holland said. I'm not talking about crazy hair days, bossy colleagues, or an "off day", I'm talking about a dark and silent agent that can take the simplest of things and reverse them into a descending depth of despair. My friends and watchers. Be alert. Be mindful. Be careful to not judge those who seem to be struggling with some inner turmoil.

You never know what someone may be going through. And you could never in your lifetime imagine the struggles or trials another person has to face. You can empathize or sympathize with somethings, but I testify that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And everyone is human. People make mistakes. People get sick. And people judge others. We need to desist from this, my friends. I have friends and family who have battled with these types of afflictions, and I myself have battled with it. I want you to remember to love these people. Treat them as you would a person with a debilitating cancer, or a severe physical ailment. With love. 

There are lots of things that are afflicting us in our day and age. I just wanted to bring to light what one of them is. Friends, thank you for support. I hope that we can all look upon people that are going through these types of mountainous challenges with a sliver of sympathy, at least. It's just another thing that we, as mortal beings have to deal with, and we need to remember that all of the people around us are mortal as well. We can all be subject to diseases like this, and we just need to help each other with our struggles.

I guess, in closing, I want to give my testimony of Jesus Christ. He really did experience all. All of our worries. All of our fears. All of our sufferings. He truly is the ultimate advocate. I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know He loves me. I know he wants the very best for all, and that he and Jesus Christ really truly love all of us. Why would they have done everything they have done if they didn't? Thank you for reading and listening. I hope that somebody somewhere can be helped or uplifted by my message. Have a wonderful day!

Like a Broken Vessel, October General Conferance 2013, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Equations Rule Life

Life is one tough equation isn't it? Full of great divides, some positives, multiple negatives, and tons of variables huh? I don't think there is one great solution to our dividends and our problems. There are multiple ways of tackling a difficult problem, but multiple ways of solving

As in math, one has to first identify the part of an equation that needs to be completed before one can actually start on the equation. You then have to examine and find the right variable to input into the equation to solve the problem. Life is a paradoxical equation. There are simple variables, but there are equally and contrasty difficult ones. Each situation and constant is different, yet the same. Where one could divide and conquer a situation, another would problem add and then multiply. So which constant for life can you use with the different constructs of variables to make Life work?

A few months ago, I discovered a sheet that had seven different "rules", if you will, to Life. At first, they seemed quite general and broad, but on closer inspection, they were quite cool. I'd like to share them with you and give my own insights on how each one has fit into different "equations" that I'm dealing or have dealt with in my experience. I hope that through my personal introspection, I can hopefully help someone who reads this! We'll just take each step one by one, and take apart the different sets of the phrases, to better understand the variables and constants we're dealing with for our brushes with Life's problems.


Rule 1: Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

There are things in everyone's past that sometimes sneak out and haunt us. You wouldn't be human without your own skeletons hidden away in some closet. The point and purpose of the past is to be a bridge to your future. The bad mistakes will always seem more apparent then good feelings, but it's both the good and the bad that shape us as human beings and continue building our foundations higher. For me, there's a lot of things I wish I had a DeLorean for, but I guess I wouldn't be who I am right now without some of those things. We've all had that embarrassing moment, failed projects, disappointing results, and things that sometimes fly back at us in the future, but you're human, just make peace with it. We're not perfect, nor should anyone ever hold us to the standard of perfection, because they'd be a hypocrite. Breath, accept, and know that at least you're trying!

Rule 2: What others think of you, is none of your business.

You're looking at a self-identified perfectionist ha-ha. If your tick is to make things perfect, it'd be hard to not think of what others think right? Yep! So, take it from moi that, even though it's really, really hard, just forget about what people think. I don't care if it's Miss America blazoning the Olympic Torch, and sitting on a Lamborghini Aventador, she still wouldn't be perfect. That's because life is an ongoing equation. It's like pi times pi squared, then multiplied and added to a pi to the tenth. It's ongoing!! No one, no matter how perfect they look, is perfect. Everyone has there own demons, their own variables, and their own problems. It's really hard-believe me, not to obsess about what others believe about you. But it really is none of your business. You're a special and unique individual with your own talents, gifts, and personality that you work on! So, smile and just let that Mr. Popular walk by you. You'll probably never see him again anyway!

Rule 3: Time heals almost anything. Give it time. 

This is true for a lot of things we deal with. Sometimes it's the only thing that can really heal injuries. Notice how a lot of these things are connected and work together to make this "Life Schematic". I think Time really just dampens some of the possible pain that may continue seeping outwards from a bad experience. You still may remember the experience, but it's the knowledge and stuff that you learned from it more then the pain I think. I've always said that Time is one of those things that may not always be constant. It could speed up or slow down, maybe even skip by us, but it is also a healer and helper for experiences which are hard to go through. It can heal almost anything!

Rule 4: Don't compare your life to others, and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 

This is closely related with number two. We really don't know what others have been through, do we? Why is that person acting so negatively toward us? Why are they so impatient? What really happens when they're at home? The fact is that there is hardly ever a time in this life when we should ever judge someone for something, and hardly should be emphasized. You have no idea what a person has ever been through or how many miles they've had to walk to get to the point where they've met you. I said it just previously. It's so hard not to compare, but there isn't really anyway you can compare, because you don't know what's hidden beneath a person. How much shaping, heartache, or suffering they've gone through. This is why it's so sad to see bullying in this world today, from both sides of the spectrum. The victims and the bullies just don't know how to deal with any of it, and they just follow the pathetic social norm of achievement comparison and situational attitude, meaning that they just take what they see and what a person may look like, and use that as a judgement indicator. Sorry, but if you do that, then you're gravely mistaken. Focus on your life's journey, and help others in theirs, but just don't judge!

Rule 5: Stop thinking too much, it's alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

You mean I have to be patient?! Dang it! Curse you unexpected answers, ha-ha! I've been known to overthink things plenty of times, and let me tell you-it doesn't help. We really don't have to know everything. That was never the plan, nor do we have the capability to know everything, and I can't tell you how many times I've been searching for something; whether it be an answer to a question, a writing topic, or just some comfort for lil' old me, the answer came in the weirdest place. So never underestimate where you could get an answer, because it could come in the shower or on the freeway!

Rule 6: No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.  

That is a true statement! Attitude is definitely everything. Being around negative and sarcastic people sucks doesn't it? But, we still hold the responsiblitiy to be our own person and not let others' actions affect us in the wrong way. It's hard! But, we can do it. Just pat yourself on the back for that good patience, because we all get into that situation one time or another!

Rule 7: Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world.

We don't own them. The world is too complex and stupid to try and own every problem in it. You are your own person, and I am my own person. There's lots of things that we could all be depressed about for years, but really, as long as we're doing what we're supposed to, and having fun and living life with those we care about, everything is good. We (that's me too!), need to just smile and let the world just pass on by, because the world will always change for better or for worse, but we can control our own endeavors, and just spend time enjoying life!

I really just offer my realization and testimony of the living Christ that should be the basis for our lives. Notice how each of these could tie in perfectly to how Christ emulated his love for mankind and the attributes he truly showed in his ministry to the people. These may seem like simple steps, but I think that if we take a few of them and really use them with a basis on the Savior, we can achieve great things. I just am so grateful for the limitless blessings that I've had in my life.

I couldn't count them if I wanted to. I can't imagine the agony that Christ went through for us. I'm so thankful to have friends and family in this world, and for little snippets of council like these to help me, and hopefully to help you, on our journey through this complex, mysterious, and scary life. We're not alone though! I know we have Christ with us, and I also give you my love, and hope that you can take away at least a smile from my post! Till I blog again :)!

 

Whisper of the Heart

The Phantom Menace: Resisting Temptation

Hello everyone! I do hope these posts are fulfilling, and that they at least give you a smile. Anyway, now that I have your attention, I hope. Yes you, behind the screen! I'll just jump right in with the good stuff.

So, what is this "Phantom Menace" that I'm talking about? No, it's not the Star Wars movie title :), but what could it be? So many times in life we focus on things that might not be that important, or lose focus on some of the things that are. Why is that? Why is it so hard to stay focused in this world? Why do we have many of the problems that we do? It's because we're distracted. There are so many things in the present day that sometimes pull us away from focusing on actual life, and lead to many of the problems we see in society. Many of these things are very common things, and are things that we see and interact with on a daily basis.

I think it's very interesting to think about how easy it is to slip off into many of these distractions. Things like drugs, media, and technology have very different perspectives with many of their uses. Why? Because there are unseen forces that attack the simplicity and the neutrality of these different aspects of our lives. We are at war. There are no guns, nor airplanes; explosions, nor countries in this war. The Adversary, the Devil, or Satan is on full assault against mankind, and he is pulling ahead in the last leg of the race.

Temptation is everywhere, and if we can't find something to anchor ourselves against the storm, then we'll be blown away. Isn't it interesting that the word tempest, which means severe storm, is really close to having the word "tempt" and "test" in it? Life is an opportunity to learn and grow, fail and succeed, and love and lose, but we are not alone and we aren't without opposition. I urge you to find your own anchor, whether it's your family, your friends, Jesus Christ, or the Gospel-something to help you find that foundation. I think it's hard to try and find your way without somewhere to start. I want to give you a few things you can do to help you try and resist this onslaught of wayward winds, and to help you find your own anchor in your life.

• Find Jesus Christ. How could someone not want to find Christ in their lives? So many things in life are so horrible to deal with, and are so harmful to us that there seems that we can never have hope. Christ suffered those pains and afflictions when he performed his Atonement and was crucified on the cross for us. He loves us and he just wants us to feel that and to feel that healing power that he can give. I've seen too many struggling families, wayward children, and lost people who I feel badly for. No one is perfect. I know that for a fact. Because of this, it's not hard to get lost or to get buried by life's trials. If you have difficulties or temptations that you don't think you can handle, then give Christ a chance to help you. Trust in his promise when he says, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.1" 

• Recognize Your Special Self. Why do we degrade each other so much? Why do we have so many problems in our societies, our countries, and our communities? Why are we so bent on getting ahead of whoever, that we forget that we're all in this together? Really? How much farther do you think we could be, if we just worked together, instead of working individually. Everyone of you are special, royal individuals. You deserve to be loved and cared for, and you deserve people to go through life's journey with you. I really hope that you can at least smile from this post. You do have talents and gifts that you may not even realize that you have. Don't ever short yourself, and remember that you need to build yourself up sometimes, and not focus on comparing yourself to other people-they're not as perfect as you think. 

• Accept That Everyone Needs a Break. Temptation and heartache are everywhere. Sooner or later, all of us are going to have to just stop and take a break. That's totally fine. We need to remember that we're not in this life alone, and that we can do this. We're all trying to reach that big goal in life, hopefully, to be able to return to God at the end of our lives. You can do this, and Christ can help. He is with us every step of the way, and sometimes-most of the time for me, he is carrying us through our struggles. Remember that you are loved!

• Life Isn't Really a "Highway". To preface this point, I would like to share with you the last part of one of my all time favorite poems. Here is an excerpt: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.2" I love the last line of the poem. Many, many times, there are several paths we all can take in life. Which one has something at the end worth walking towards, and is that road's journey worth it? It always makes all the difference, doesn't it? There is a lot of people who just go along with the different things of the world, and just do things that they see other people doing. They're just following that mainstream highway of life, and it's hurting so many people. The journey is as important as the end, and some paths don't have a good ending. So, I'm sorry Tom Cochrane, but life isn't really a "highway". 

My fellow friends and loving readers, life sometimes isn't mainstream-there is temptation, evil, heartbreak, and trials, but we have Christ and each other to help and love us. There is a lot of temptations out there, and it's not easy to try to manage all of the things we deal with on a daily basis, but we can do it. The most important part is that we have to trust ourselves and stay true to the path that will be best for us. At the end of your life, do you want to say that you stayed true to the straight path, and took the road less traveled by? I do. So let's keep walking it together, no matter if more people are on the mainstream "highway". Let us all press on! 

1:  Matthew 11:28, New Testament

2:  Excerpt from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

An Ever Constant Companion

When's the last time you've looked for beauty? Have you ever stared out a window, just to see the motions of the air? The rain on the street? Streaking lights of the cars flying by? How about the trees moving in the wind, or leaves falling to the ground? The simple streams or short straits catch your eye? You ever stay outside or get up early to see the rays of sun rise and fall over the horizon? There is beauty all around us.

In a world of many changing ideals-increased conflicts, wars, crime, political bravado, falling values, and disintegrating families-it's hard. The noise and the contention of the world is the driving nail into the smooth board of our lives. It's ever increasing. And more and more nails are being driven in. Sometimes we're moving so fast we can't breathe, or take a second to think.

Time is that eternal mystery, and the sole controlling force of our lives. Can we control it? No. Can we explain it? Temporarily-yes, but eventually it ascends all explanation. Is time bad? No. Time is control, and is a partner to go through this life and take on the trials of ourselves. Everything can be healed with time, and by using Jesus Christ's example to accept his love. Time lets us remember, but also lets us forget. It seems to speed up or slow down-sometimes disappears, but it's always there reminding us that, while it is our companion, we eventually have to face the end of our journey, and follow in Christ's footsteps.

We miss so much because we focus on things that really don't have any value. Time is a neutral, universal law, and like I said-a companion, but if we let it, our time can run out, and we might have missed the beauty around us, and the love we could feel from Christ, family, friends, and spouses. It's amazing how much we fascinate about time, and the thoughts about the future, the present-time travel, or prophecy, and seeing the future.

I'm taken back to one of my favorite films of all time-Robert Zemetricks', Back to the Future. In it, young Marty McFly is obvious feeling disappointed with his life, and his seemingly unlucky status, and fear of rejection, but through the power of "science", and the whimsical genius of Doc. Emmett Brown, he travels back in time to when his parents are young. Through different experiences, he learns that while the world and time are always changing, family is always timeless, and love transcends all barriers.

You may ask what any of this has to do with anything? Well, I pose my opening question to you again? When's the last time you looked for beauty? I invite you to look out the window next time, or give your brother or spouse a big, warm hug. Maybe snuggle a bit. We're all walking with our different companion-time, Christ, and our families  and our journey through this mortal life is ever getting shorter, and nearing it's end.

I quote a recognizable truth that's been said, as to the original author-I know not, but regardless of who first pronounced it-the truth of the words is ever there.

"Living without Love and Hope isn't really living at all, and is an empty life, full of heartache" 

Please make sure that you don't let time slip away from you, and that you spend time with those you love most and give them your attention and your affections, so that you can take this journey of time together, and look back and say: "Thank you, time, you've been my friend, and showed me how to love, and now I can go with you to rest." I love you all-my family, friends, and fellow missionaries here in New York. I know and testify that we are doing a wonderful work, and that we are truly blessed and thought for by many, many people-including our Heavenly Father and his son-our brother, Jesus Christ.

God be with you, Till we meet again. 

Endurance: Pathway to Joy

It's awe inspiring really. The endurance of the people of the world. We go about our lives-regardless of religious association, or spiritual background, or church beliefs; and we experience. We go through life and experience hardship. Our money gets tight, our jobs fall through, our bodies fall ill, and our families contend, but life goes on with miracles happening everyday. I want to talk about endurance, and how it can be a blessing, and a way to grow closer to our families, to our friends, and to our God.

I've been a Boy Scout all my life, and have been dedicated enough to reach the rank of Eagle Scout. As I reflect on my past experiences of my scouting career, and some of the things that I learned along the way, I'm grateful for my parent's eager support and my leaders dedicated service to helping me along the way. Now what does this have to do with endurance? Well-I'll tell you.

In 2008, I was a Life Scout, and was participating quite well in the Varsity Scout program-a program that focuses on outdoor activities and team building experiences within our group. We had the extreme privilege of going to the Philmont National Scout Ranch in the summer. For those of you who don't know, or who aren't aware-Philmont is one, if not the biggest, scout camp in the country-maybe even in the world. It's located in Cimmaron, New Mexico, and spans a good portion in the middle of the state. Anyway-for a scout-Philmont was that one experience that everyone wished for-and I got to go. I was excited, and nervous at the same time. The trek lasted about 15 days-during which, a group would choose a different "itinerary" to follow for the trek, and then hike on a specific path that would range from 50 to 140 miles across New Mexico.

The physical challenge was crystal clear from the beginning, but what about emotionally? At that present time-yes I had been away from my family for short periods, and had experienced trials and challenges, but this was different. 15 days in the middle of New Mexico with just 10-12 people to hike with me-it was a daunting task, but one that looked rewarding and still very fun.

The day came when we embarked on our travel to the state by charter bus. It was a great and challenging day-filled with packing, checking, paperwork, and other things, but also that sweet, tender goodbye to the ones we loved. We departed to go on this physically challenging journey-the departure was difficult, but we all did it, and boarded the bus. After a very long bus ride, we finally arrived at the Philmont Ranch. Now, I won't go into exquisite detail-but I'll tell you a few things, and my experience with the whole trek. The first day was filled with many orientations and paperwork-getting our things put in our tents and any valuables or electronics that we wouldn't be needing, into lockers and safe boxes.

It was a bitter-sweet experience-the arrival "induction" that we attended that night. They welcomed us, did a few awesome shows and things, and gave us some more information about our upcoming journey. The beginning of a journey is always a fluid one-full of mixed emotions, and exciting prospects. We were excited, but the task ahead was long, and we were all aware of that.

To make a long story a little bit shorter-the first few days out on the trail were difficult-very much so. But we grew closer as a scout team, and our experiences activities were once-in-a-lifetime chances. Of course we totally blew the "roof" off of the trek by doing some amazing things-black powder shooting, archery, mountain climbing, drinking homemade root beer, and having a donkey ha-ha :D! The trek was long and hard-many, many miles were had, and our boots and our feet showed it. I think I even had a blister for half the trek, but we always had each other and the Lord to help us in times of hardship, and even got to perform the Sacrament on the trek-a very spiritual and enriching experiencing for young men such as us.

Anyway-during each mile, during each hardship-I always tried to look forward, to look toward hope and rely upon my friends and my God to help me have the strength to endure. I had the privilege of having my birthday during this and-although short and sweet, I was able to read a letter that my parents had previously prepared and sent with me for that day. It was a tender, caring letter filled with love and encouragement for my young mind, which to me-really, really helped.

Do a little time skip here :)!

At the end of all this, and as we were driving home on the bus, I looked out the window, and as I looked back at the Tooth of Time-a mountain formation that is very known at Philmont, I just thought about all my experiences and all my trials I faced during that time. There were many, but I can honestly and with full heart say that I didn't complain or murmur about my circumstances, and even though some days were freezing cold-getting up at 4 in the morning, I tried my best, and I and my fellow team members overcame our 88 mile trek across New Mexico.

"When you feel discouraged, thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!" (Count Your Blessings; hymn 241)

I invite you readers to always trust in the Lord. Now five years later after Philmont-I'm here as a missionary and representative of Jesus Christ. It's had it's hard times, and there are trials to which I'm working toward and through, but I know that I couldn't even do anything without Jesus Christ, and without his spirit blessing me and giving me comfort and love. I testify that he is the Christ and leave you with this thought and invitation.

"Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives"(I know that my Redeemer lives; hymn 135)

My loving friends and readers-family members and fellow missionaries, I know that my Redeemer lives, and I invite you to watch General Conference this weekend and partake of that spiritual dose of truth, and of Christ to help you. Just know that I love all of you-so much, and I hope and pray that I can help you in anyway I can. I hope that I can be comforted and helped myself by Christ so I can do this for him. Thank you!

I wish you a good weekend and General Conference season!