A Dark Agent

There is something that I want to share with all of you wonderful followers. Something that has hit home for me really hard.

I don't know how many of you have experienced that entrenching and debilitating power of Depression, but it is an insidious agent that has the power to cripple the mightiest of foes. Why is it so hard to deal with? To recognize? To see? Why is it so prevalent in this world today?

It's a real scary thought. To think that your very mentality is being attacked by environmental and chemical combatants, that you can't necessarily see. I think that is the start of why it is so dangerous. Unlike a Flu virus or a Cold, Depression isn't immediately recognizable. It's silent, it's mental, it's emotional. If I'm coughing or vomiting, I can probably assume that I might have some sort of virus. But how could I know if Depression might be looming around my body? There are bad hair days, there are people how just push our buttons the wrong way, and there is the every present social shame of admitting that you might have a problem with your mind. It is very scary.

I'm going to quote one of our Church Authorities a lot during my blog today, because he puts it so simple and concise as to what Depression is, and what can be done about it. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."*
 

I like the word complexity. Depression and Mental Illness is a complex problem. It is something that is real. Right here. Right now. We need to face the reality. "There should be no more shame..." What does that mean to you? My heart and feelings goes out to those who are battling with such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's, Dementia, and other forms of serious mental illness. It is so painful to watch someone go through something so horrible, especially when you have to witness the pain from the family members of the person afflicted. I can't tell you how much what Elder Holland said about this disease meant to me. About God's love, he states:

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson states, “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart..."*
 

There is a lot of judgement that goes on in the world today. Everything is about me. What can I get? How can I get above that person? Why don't I have that instead of him? It seems that judgment intensifies when persons afflicted with Depression come to a realization of their affliction. It's simply horrible. My heart and empathy goes out to those who have been ostracized because of their illness. There is no more destructive act that can happen, in relation to depression, then to have those you thought were by your side, turn judgemental and condescending for something that you or someone close is battling with.

Like I said, and like Elder Holland said. I'm not talking about crazy hair days, bossy colleagues, or an "off day", I'm talking about a dark and silent agent that can take the simplest of things and reverse them into a descending depth of despair. My friends and watchers. Be alert. Be mindful. Be careful to not judge those who seem to be struggling with some inner turmoil.

You never know what someone may be going through. And you could never in your lifetime imagine the struggles or trials another person has to face. You can empathize or sympathize with somethings, but I testify that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And everyone is human. People make mistakes. People get sick. And people judge others. We need to desist from this, my friends. I have friends and family who have battled with these types of afflictions, and I myself have battled with it. I want you to remember to love these people. Treat them as you would a person with a debilitating cancer, or a severe physical ailment. With love. 

There are lots of things that are afflicting us in our day and age. I just wanted to bring to light what one of them is. Friends, thank you for support. I hope that we can all look upon people that are going through these types of mountainous challenges with a sliver of sympathy, at least. It's just another thing that we, as mortal beings have to deal with, and we need to remember that all of the people around us are mortal as well. We can all be subject to diseases like this, and we just need to help each other with our struggles.

I guess, in closing, I want to give my testimony of Jesus Christ. He really did experience all. All of our worries. All of our fears. All of our sufferings. He truly is the ultimate advocate. I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know He loves me. I know he wants the very best for all, and that he and Jesus Christ really truly love all of us. Why would they have done everything they have done if they didn't? Thank you for reading and listening. I hope that somebody somewhere can be helped or uplifted by my message. Have a wonderful day!

Like a Broken Vessel, October General Conferance 2013, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Equations Rule Life

Life is one tough equation isn't it? Full of great divides, some positives, multiple negatives, and tons of variables huh? I don't think there is one great solution to our dividends and our problems. There are multiple ways of tackling a difficult problem, but multiple ways of solving

As in math, one has to first identify the part of an equation that needs to be completed before one can actually start on the equation. You then have to examine and find the right variable to input into the equation to solve the problem. Life is a paradoxical equation. There are simple variables, but there are equally and contrasty difficult ones. Each situation and constant is different, yet the same. Where one could divide and conquer a situation, another would problem add and then multiply. So which constant for life can you use with the different constructs of variables to make Life work?

A few months ago, I discovered a sheet that had seven different "rules", if you will, to Life. At first, they seemed quite general and broad, but on closer inspection, they were quite cool. I'd like to share them with you and give my own insights on how each one has fit into different "equations" that I'm dealing or have dealt with in my experience. I hope that through my personal introspection, I can hopefully help someone who reads this! We'll just take each step one by one, and take apart the different sets of the phrases, to better understand the variables and constants we're dealing with for our brushes with Life's problems.


Rule 1: Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

There are things in everyone's past that sometimes sneak out and haunt us. You wouldn't be human without your own skeletons hidden away in some closet. The point and purpose of the past is to be a bridge to your future. The bad mistakes will always seem more apparent then good feelings, but it's both the good and the bad that shape us as human beings and continue building our foundations higher. For me, there's a lot of things I wish I had a DeLorean for, but I guess I wouldn't be who I am right now without some of those things. We've all had that embarrassing moment, failed projects, disappointing results, and things that sometimes fly back at us in the future, but you're human, just make peace with it. We're not perfect, nor should anyone ever hold us to the standard of perfection, because they'd be a hypocrite. Breath, accept, and know that at least you're trying!

Rule 2: What others think of you, is none of your business.

You're looking at a self-identified perfectionist ha-ha. If your tick is to make things perfect, it'd be hard to not think of what others think right? Yep! So, take it from moi that, even though it's really, really hard, just forget about what people think. I don't care if it's Miss America blazoning the Olympic Torch, and sitting on a Lamborghini Aventador, she still wouldn't be perfect. That's because life is an ongoing equation. It's like pi times pi squared, then multiplied and added to a pi to the tenth. It's ongoing!! No one, no matter how perfect they look, is perfect. Everyone has there own demons, their own variables, and their own problems. It's really hard-believe me, not to obsess about what others believe about you. But it really is none of your business. You're a special and unique individual with your own talents, gifts, and personality that you work on! So, smile and just let that Mr. Popular walk by you. You'll probably never see him again anyway!

Rule 3: Time heals almost anything. Give it time. 

This is true for a lot of things we deal with. Sometimes it's the only thing that can really heal injuries. Notice how a lot of these things are connected and work together to make this "Life Schematic". I think Time really just dampens some of the possible pain that may continue seeping outwards from a bad experience. You still may remember the experience, but it's the knowledge and stuff that you learned from it more then the pain I think. I've always said that Time is one of those things that may not always be constant. It could speed up or slow down, maybe even skip by us, but it is also a healer and helper for experiences which are hard to go through. It can heal almost anything!

Rule 4: Don't compare your life to others, and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 

This is closely related with number two. We really don't know what others have been through, do we? Why is that person acting so negatively toward us? Why are they so impatient? What really happens when they're at home? The fact is that there is hardly ever a time in this life when we should ever judge someone for something, and hardly should be emphasized. You have no idea what a person has ever been through or how many miles they've had to walk to get to the point where they've met you. I said it just previously. It's so hard not to compare, but there isn't really anyway you can compare, because you don't know what's hidden beneath a person. How much shaping, heartache, or suffering they've gone through. This is why it's so sad to see bullying in this world today, from both sides of the spectrum. The victims and the bullies just don't know how to deal with any of it, and they just follow the pathetic social norm of achievement comparison and situational attitude, meaning that they just take what they see and what a person may look like, and use that as a judgement indicator. Sorry, but if you do that, then you're gravely mistaken. Focus on your life's journey, and help others in theirs, but just don't judge!

Rule 5: Stop thinking too much, it's alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

You mean I have to be patient?! Dang it! Curse you unexpected answers, ha-ha! I've been known to overthink things plenty of times, and let me tell you-it doesn't help. We really don't have to know everything. That was never the plan, nor do we have the capability to know everything, and I can't tell you how many times I've been searching for something; whether it be an answer to a question, a writing topic, or just some comfort for lil' old me, the answer came in the weirdest place. So never underestimate where you could get an answer, because it could come in the shower or on the freeway!

Rule 6: No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.  

That is a true statement! Attitude is definitely everything. Being around negative and sarcastic people sucks doesn't it? But, we still hold the responsiblitiy to be our own person and not let others' actions affect us in the wrong way. It's hard! But, we can do it. Just pat yourself on the back for that good patience, because we all get into that situation one time or another!

Rule 7: Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world.

We don't own them. The world is too complex and stupid to try and own every problem in it. You are your own person, and I am my own person. There's lots of things that we could all be depressed about for years, but really, as long as we're doing what we're supposed to, and having fun and living life with those we care about, everything is good. We (that's me too!), need to just smile and let the world just pass on by, because the world will always change for better or for worse, but we can control our own endeavors, and just spend time enjoying life!

I really just offer my realization and testimony of the living Christ that should be the basis for our lives. Notice how each of these could tie in perfectly to how Christ emulated his love for mankind and the attributes he truly showed in his ministry to the people. These may seem like simple steps, but I think that if we take a few of them and really use them with a basis on the Savior, we can achieve great things. I just am so grateful for the limitless blessings that I've had in my life.

I couldn't count them if I wanted to. I can't imagine the agony that Christ went through for us. I'm so thankful to have friends and family in this world, and for little snippets of council like these to help me, and hopefully to help you, on our journey through this complex, mysterious, and scary life. We're not alone though! I know we have Christ with us, and I also give you my love, and hope that you can take away at least a smile from my post! Till I blog again :)!

 

Whisper of the Heart

The Power of Prayer

During the occupation of the German Nazis into Poland, many of the cities throughout the country lay barren or secluded from the world through much of the war because of the increased enemy force throughout the nation. Warsaw laid in ruins, tanks roamed the streets, and German soldiers gathered people into different sections of the city to keep them contained, put them to work, or transfer and transport different groups to other places in Poland and Germany to work or to die.

During the heart of World War II-nearing the end of 1943, occupation of the country was already completed, and numerous amounts of the citizenship had already been killed or had died because of the harsh conditions. I would like to tell you about one instance during the occupation in where-despite the dark status and sheer miserable state in the country at the time-hope still remained, and chivalry wasn't lost.

We come to a young man named Damian Pawel-a seventeen year old young man, and a member of the LDS church since 1938. His family had been living on the outskirts of Warsaw when the German invasion forces had begun bombardment on the ill prepared city. Being located out of the main district of the city, and having their home in what we would call suburbs, they were slightly more fortunate then most who resided in the cities' boundaries. Not all was well however. As tanks and raids swept the area, more and more troops poured into the city, and continued sweeping the area like a force unto no other.

Damian and his family had gathered up what they could and fled their home in their little family car. Only fifteen minutes after driving down one of the dirt roads of the countryside away from Warsaw did the area near them explode with bombing shells from the planes overhead. The family wasn't hurt-thankfully, but the car had swerved because of the force of the explosions and had wrecked against a tree line by the road. Quickly and without any thought, Damian had helped his family out, and grabbed whatever he could as they fled into the forest towards what they thought and hoped was one of the smaller towns.

With his parents ahead continuing to push forward, and Damian behind his younger, eight year old sister Monika, they continued to run. Every flash and bang in the distance shocked each of them, and the slight pang of fear always was blazoned on their faces. The treeline for the opposite side was approaching, and threw the rivers of sweat coming off of them, they could see the clear fields again. They past the treeline and continued down the line as they looked around for something...anything. Then they saw it then. Half a mile to the right, across the fields, Damian spotted what probably was the town of Gmina Izabelin-an area where the village of Izabelin was.

Running and running-the family reached the town and continued to hear the bombing and the ever reaching sounds of the German invasion. A quick tap on the shoulder startled young Damian, and he turned around and beheld an elderly gentleman and his frail looking wife. They pointed to a small building and led them toward it-inside the building was just a small room, and one cupboard-probably not any bigger then a broom closet. Outside, the explosions were still booming off, and the crackling of tanks and planes getting closer. Damian looked out the window with fear and desperation in his eyes. He loved his family so much and in the face of certain demise, felt his hope start dwindling. The couple pushed and edged the family into the small cupboard, and then quickly ran out of the building-probably to go get there family somewhere safe, or find some place else to hide.

It didn't take long for the sounds of German soldiers to reach the young families ears, and Damian spent the entire time hugging his family and trying to hold onto his hope. A passing thought in his mind gave him that sliver of hope and, while holding his family, and in his staggered speech he uttered a simple, but teary eyed prayer. "Oh Lord my God, my family is the life of my soul, I pray thee protect them, our trust is in thine hands."

A simple glance over to the closet would have been enough to know that it was occupied. The building which they were in was only a bit more then a shack, and the soldiers persisted to find everyone in the town-ripping up boards and crashing through doors. Through the entire two hours of them tearing the town apart, did the closet door get searched? No it didn't.

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Words cannot express what this must have meant to this young man who was facing pure destruction and darkness, and the thought of losing those who he loved so much. But with the words of a simple, humble prayer-a prayer that showed his utter dependence and love for his family, and his God, coupled with the courage and the Christ-like actions of that elderly couple, saved Damian's family from what would have been the end, in retrospect.

I would like to testify to you readers of the power of prayer. We may not be facing a hostile invasion force-the explosions of bombs and guns going off, or the thought of being killed, but we have our own mountains to climb, we have our families to hug, and we are always at war. Heavenly Father loves each one of us with a love that would echo a thousand universes. We are his children, and he loves, and looks forward to hearing each of us in our prayers to him. I encourage all of you to pray if you haven't prayed in a while. Express gratitude and love for your Heavenly Father, and he will respond.

I know that he loves us, and that he loves me. I don't know what it's like to face death with the prospect of losing my family, but I do know how the emptiness of loneliness and loss feels, and having a Father in Heaven who sends his spirit and the love from his son Jesus Christ, is a blessing indeed. May we continue to feel that loving affection and feeling from him and continue to pray with tender hearts, and loving souls.

I love each of you-even though I might not have met you yet. To all the family and friends who read this-my love goes out to you as well, and I hope that you can get a "hug" from reading this. I wish you a great weekend and an even greater hope!

Till next time! :)