A Dark Agent

There is something that I want to share with all of you wonderful followers. Something that has hit home for me really hard.

I don't know how many of you have experienced that entrenching and debilitating power of Depression, but it is an insidious agent that has the power to cripple the mightiest of foes. Why is it so hard to deal with? To recognize? To see? Why is it so prevalent in this world today?

It's a real scary thought. To think that your very mentality is being attacked by environmental and chemical combatants, that you can't necessarily see. I think that is the start of why it is so dangerous. Unlike a Flu virus or a Cold, Depression isn't immediately recognizable. It's silent, it's mental, it's emotional. If I'm coughing or vomiting, I can probably assume that I might have some sort of virus. But how could I know if Depression might be looming around my body? There are bad hair days, there are people how just push our buttons the wrong way, and there is the every present social shame of admitting that you might have a problem with your mind. It is very scary.

I'm going to quote one of our Church Authorities a lot during my blog today, because he puts it so simple and concise as to what Depression is, and what can be done about it. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."*
 

I like the word complexity. Depression and Mental Illness is a complex problem. It is something that is real. Right here. Right now. We need to face the reality. "There should be no more shame..." What does that mean to you? My heart and feelings goes out to those who are battling with such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's, Dementia, and other forms of serious mental illness. It is so painful to watch someone go through something so horrible, especially when you have to witness the pain from the family members of the person afflicted. I can't tell you how much what Elder Holland said about this disease meant to me. About God's love, he states:

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson states, “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart..."*
 

There is a lot of judgement that goes on in the world today. Everything is about me. What can I get? How can I get above that person? Why don't I have that instead of him? It seems that judgment intensifies when persons afflicted with Depression come to a realization of their affliction. It's simply horrible. My heart and empathy goes out to those who have been ostracized because of their illness. There is no more destructive act that can happen, in relation to depression, then to have those you thought were by your side, turn judgemental and condescending for something that you or someone close is battling with.

Like I said, and like Elder Holland said. I'm not talking about crazy hair days, bossy colleagues, or an "off day", I'm talking about a dark and silent agent that can take the simplest of things and reverse them into a descending depth of despair. My friends and watchers. Be alert. Be mindful. Be careful to not judge those who seem to be struggling with some inner turmoil.

You never know what someone may be going through. And you could never in your lifetime imagine the struggles or trials another person has to face. You can empathize or sympathize with somethings, but I testify that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And everyone is human. People make mistakes. People get sick. And people judge others. We need to desist from this, my friends. I have friends and family who have battled with these types of afflictions, and I myself have battled with it. I want you to remember to love these people. Treat them as you would a person with a debilitating cancer, or a severe physical ailment. With love. 

There are lots of things that are afflicting us in our day and age. I just wanted to bring to light what one of them is. Friends, thank you for support. I hope that we can all look upon people that are going through these types of mountainous challenges with a sliver of sympathy, at least. It's just another thing that we, as mortal beings have to deal with, and we need to remember that all of the people around us are mortal as well. We can all be subject to diseases like this, and we just need to help each other with our struggles.

I guess, in closing, I want to give my testimony of Jesus Christ. He really did experience all. All of our worries. All of our fears. All of our sufferings. He truly is the ultimate advocate. I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know He loves me. I know he wants the very best for all, and that he and Jesus Christ really truly love all of us. Why would they have done everything they have done if they didn't? Thank you for reading and listening. I hope that somebody somewhere can be helped or uplifted by my message. Have a wonderful day!

Like a Broken Vessel, October General Conferance 2013, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Endurance: Pathway to Joy

It's awe inspiring really. The endurance of the people of the world. We go about our lives-regardless of religious association, or spiritual background, or church beliefs; and we experience. We go through life and experience hardship. Our money gets tight, our jobs fall through, our bodies fall ill, and our families contend, but life goes on with miracles happening everyday. I want to talk about endurance, and how it can be a blessing, and a way to grow closer to our families, to our friends, and to our God.

I've been a Boy Scout all my life, and have been dedicated enough to reach the rank of Eagle Scout. As I reflect on my past experiences of my scouting career, and some of the things that I learned along the way, I'm grateful for my parent's eager support and my leaders dedicated service to helping me along the way. Now what does this have to do with endurance? Well-I'll tell you.

In 2008, I was a Life Scout, and was participating quite well in the Varsity Scout program-a program that focuses on outdoor activities and team building experiences within our group. We had the extreme privilege of going to the Philmont National Scout Ranch in the summer. For those of you who don't know, or who aren't aware-Philmont is one, if not the biggest, scout camp in the country-maybe even in the world. It's located in Cimmaron, New Mexico, and spans a good portion in the middle of the state. Anyway-for a scout-Philmont was that one experience that everyone wished for-and I got to go. I was excited, and nervous at the same time. The trek lasted about 15 days-during which, a group would choose a different "itinerary" to follow for the trek, and then hike on a specific path that would range from 50 to 140 miles across New Mexico.

The physical challenge was crystal clear from the beginning, but what about emotionally? At that present time-yes I had been away from my family for short periods, and had experienced trials and challenges, but this was different. 15 days in the middle of New Mexico with just 10-12 people to hike with me-it was a daunting task, but one that looked rewarding and still very fun.

The day came when we embarked on our travel to the state by charter bus. It was a great and challenging day-filled with packing, checking, paperwork, and other things, but also that sweet, tender goodbye to the ones we loved. We departed to go on this physically challenging journey-the departure was difficult, but we all did it, and boarded the bus. After a very long bus ride, we finally arrived at the Philmont Ranch. Now, I won't go into exquisite detail-but I'll tell you a few things, and my experience with the whole trek. The first day was filled with many orientations and paperwork-getting our things put in our tents and any valuables or electronics that we wouldn't be needing, into lockers and safe boxes.

It was a bitter-sweet experience-the arrival "induction" that we attended that night. They welcomed us, did a few awesome shows and things, and gave us some more information about our upcoming journey. The beginning of a journey is always a fluid one-full of mixed emotions, and exciting prospects. We were excited, but the task ahead was long, and we were all aware of that.

To make a long story a little bit shorter-the first few days out on the trail were difficult-very much so. But we grew closer as a scout team, and our experiences activities were once-in-a-lifetime chances. Of course we totally blew the "roof" off of the trek by doing some amazing things-black powder shooting, archery, mountain climbing, drinking homemade root beer, and having a donkey ha-ha :D! The trek was long and hard-many, many miles were had, and our boots and our feet showed it. I think I even had a blister for half the trek, but we always had each other and the Lord to help us in times of hardship, and even got to perform the Sacrament on the trek-a very spiritual and enriching experiencing for young men such as us.

Anyway-during each mile, during each hardship-I always tried to look forward, to look toward hope and rely upon my friends and my God to help me have the strength to endure. I had the privilege of having my birthday during this and-although short and sweet, I was able to read a letter that my parents had previously prepared and sent with me for that day. It was a tender, caring letter filled with love and encouragement for my young mind, which to me-really, really helped.

Do a little time skip here :)!

At the end of all this, and as we were driving home on the bus, I looked out the window, and as I looked back at the Tooth of Time-a mountain formation that is very known at Philmont, I just thought about all my experiences and all my trials I faced during that time. There were many, but I can honestly and with full heart say that I didn't complain or murmur about my circumstances, and even though some days were freezing cold-getting up at 4 in the morning, I tried my best, and I and my fellow team members overcame our 88 mile trek across New Mexico.

"When you feel discouraged, thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!" (Count Your Blessings; hymn 241)

I invite you readers to always trust in the Lord. Now five years later after Philmont-I'm here as a missionary and representative of Jesus Christ. It's had it's hard times, and there are trials to which I'm working toward and through, but I know that I couldn't even do anything without Jesus Christ, and without his spirit blessing me and giving me comfort and love. I testify that he is the Christ and leave you with this thought and invitation.

"Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives"(I know that my Redeemer lives; hymn 135)

My loving friends and readers-family members and fellow missionaries, I know that my Redeemer lives, and I invite you to watch General Conference this weekend and partake of that spiritual dose of truth, and of Christ to help you. Just know that I love all of you-so much, and I hope and pray that I can help you in anyway I can. I hope that I can be comforted and helped myself by Christ so I can do this for him. Thank you!

I wish you a good weekend and General Conference season!