A Dark Agent

There is something that I want to share with all of you wonderful followers. Something that has hit home for me really hard.

I don't know how many of you have experienced that entrenching and debilitating power of Depression, but it is an insidious agent that has the power to cripple the mightiest of foes. Why is it so hard to deal with? To recognize? To see? Why is it so prevalent in this world today?

It's a real scary thought. To think that your very mentality is being attacked by environmental and chemical combatants, that you can't necessarily see. I think that is the start of why it is so dangerous. Unlike a Flu virus or a Cold, Depression isn't immediately recognizable. It's silent, it's mental, it's emotional. If I'm coughing or vomiting, I can probably assume that I might have some sort of virus. But how could I know if Depression might be looming around my body? There are bad hair days, there are people how just push our buttons the wrong way, and there is the every present social shame of admitting that you might have a problem with your mind. It is very scary.

I'm going to quote one of our Church Authorities a lot during my blog today, because he puts it so simple and concise as to what Depression is, and what can be done about it. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."*
 

I like the word complexity. Depression and Mental Illness is a complex problem. It is something that is real. Right here. Right now. We need to face the reality. "There should be no more shame..." What does that mean to you? My heart and feelings goes out to those who are battling with such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's, Dementia, and other forms of serious mental illness. It is so painful to watch someone go through something so horrible, especially when you have to witness the pain from the family members of the person afflicted. I can't tell you how much what Elder Holland said about this disease meant to me. About God's love, he states:

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson states, “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart..."*
 

There is a lot of judgement that goes on in the world today. Everything is about me. What can I get? How can I get above that person? Why don't I have that instead of him? It seems that judgment intensifies when persons afflicted with Depression come to a realization of their affliction. It's simply horrible. My heart and empathy goes out to those who have been ostracized because of their illness. There is no more destructive act that can happen, in relation to depression, then to have those you thought were by your side, turn judgemental and condescending for something that you or someone close is battling with.

Like I said, and like Elder Holland said. I'm not talking about crazy hair days, bossy colleagues, or an "off day", I'm talking about a dark and silent agent that can take the simplest of things and reverse them into a descending depth of despair. My friends and watchers. Be alert. Be mindful. Be careful to not judge those who seem to be struggling with some inner turmoil.

You never know what someone may be going through. And you could never in your lifetime imagine the struggles or trials another person has to face. You can empathize or sympathize with somethings, but I testify that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And everyone is human. People make mistakes. People get sick. And people judge others. We need to desist from this, my friends. I have friends and family who have battled with these types of afflictions, and I myself have battled with it. I want you to remember to love these people. Treat them as you would a person with a debilitating cancer, or a severe physical ailment. With love. 

There are lots of things that are afflicting us in our day and age. I just wanted to bring to light what one of them is. Friends, thank you for support. I hope that we can all look upon people that are going through these types of mountainous challenges with a sliver of sympathy, at least. It's just another thing that we, as mortal beings have to deal with, and we need to remember that all of the people around us are mortal as well. We can all be subject to diseases like this, and we just need to help each other with our struggles.

I guess, in closing, I want to give my testimony of Jesus Christ. He really did experience all. All of our worries. All of our fears. All of our sufferings. He truly is the ultimate advocate. I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know He loves me. I know he wants the very best for all, and that he and Jesus Christ really truly love all of us. Why would they have done everything they have done if they didn't? Thank you for reading and listening. I hope that somebody somewhere can be helped or uplifted by my message. Have a wonderful day!

Like a Broken Vessel, October General Conferance 2013, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

A Personal Inception

Sometimes we get down on ourselves don't we? Life's road is usually cracked, windy, and maybe even sometimes broken. There are bumps all around it, and we have a hard time navigating them. Why is that? Have you looked at yourself recently and asked, "Who am I?" I have. It's been a life long journey up to this point. Every time I think of it, every time I think I'm close, it slips away. Why? Because it's a journey, it's not a destination.

I talked about this a little bit in my last post, when I talked about being in the Eye of the Storm, but now I want to focus on that personal journey that we all have to find ourselves. I'm not an expert in any respect. In fact, I'm wrestling with myself and my mind to continue making progress in my own journey. It's difficult. I've shed many a tear and hugged many a floor, wondering how to keep going. So how would we?

For me, I've done lots of searching. Searching the Bible, the Book of Mormon-reading guides and studies, praying every single day, and doing a lot of self study. It's hard, because we sometimes don't know when we've reached the next step, or when we've achieved that next tier in knowledge.

I recently read an article that outlined some of the basic steps to finding yourself. I almost cried reading it. Most of the things it talks about, have been things that I've been searching, wrestling, crying, or searching for for a while. It didn't give me any dominate answers, but it gave me something to start from. I'd like to outline a few of its points, as well as input a few of my own gospel points in.

For me, my challenges are mostly emotional, especially at the present time. Most everything else is fine (Though, none of them are ever perfect), but I'm definitely working on that side of me more then anything. I don't mind talking about myself, but usually I'm quite reserved in "who" I talk to about it. I always have this fear that by revealing some of my mistakes or vulnerabilities, that I'll just come out more broken. I'll put that fear aside for now, at least with a few of these challenges that I'll share with you.

I recognize myself as a perfectionist. It's not a boastful label nor is it a horrible trait, but it is a challenge for me in lots of respects. Sometimes I try so hard to be perfect; to love everyone, to be nice and neat always, and to do my best in things I do, but with perfection as my bar, I never succeed. Now, if I'm talking about it, I must recognize that I have this tendency or trait, right? 

So, why is it so hard? It's because it's a mental way of thinking. It's part of my personality. Can I change it? Honestly, I don't know, but I just know that I have to find someway of letting it in and fusing with me. You can only fight yourself so long before you lose, and I've gotten to that point many times. That's one of the rules of life though: Nobody is perfect, and we don't need to be concerned about being loved by everyone. That's something that's hard for most people, including me. I love the quote by Raymond Hull that says:

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." 

It's hard to do this sometimes, but we need to accept ourselves and realize that we are very special people. This goes along with self worth and self confidence. Again, something that I'm working on, but we need to accept that each of us are special, and we have talents that we've been blessed with.

There was two or three main points from the article that I will mention now. The first subject on one of the "Steps to Personal Discovery" was entitled, "Let go of the need to be loved by all."

This is something that I think is difficult for many people. We want to be accepted don't we? It's our nature to want praise and affection for the things that we do or the achievements we get, but let's face facts. With nearly six billion people on the world (Don't quote me on that statistic!), we can't get along or be loved by everyone. Someone somewhere is going to hate or dislike us for reasons we don't know. Just accept that you won't get along with everyone. You have friends and family who, hopefully, love you, and even though everyone may not like you, you're still a wonderful person who has gifts and talents to use through your life.

The second point that I'd like to outline is, "Immerse yourself in Solitude." 

This is definitely true for myself. Everyone needs time alone, whether you're the "Chatty Cathy" or the "Shy Stewart". The article clearly describes that solitude is a time for rejuvenation, self-talk, and utter peace. Reading that sentence gave me a lot of peace. I love to discuss things with myself inside my mind. I find that, even when I can't turn to anyone else, I am my greatest listener. If we don't stop and think once and a while, our brains go into overload. How can you expect to find peace if you've burnt out the 'memory boards' of your brain? Not possible. Everything needs rest, and that goes for your mind and your feelings too.

For me, my time consists of quiet pondering, simple writing, and soft prayers. I would consider myself a creative person at heart, and it really is something when I can just sit down and let my mind zoom through the universes and feel that peace. 

The final point I'd like to talk about is, "Be ready for Dead Ends." 

I told you at the start that reading this article made me tear up, and the following point and quotation is one of the reasons why. I love you all. Thank you for coming into my life and for teaching me many, many things about myself. I will leave you, my good reader, with this quote, and bid you a wonderful time till we blog again :). Be safe, and remember that you always have a caring friend right here. 

Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That's the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over. 

Credits:

www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself 

Friendship: The Web Strands of Life

Hello again everyone!

Thanks for continuing to follow me, and read the different things I've been posting. I sincerely hope that these past posts have at least made you smile, and hopefully left you feeling a bit more cared for. Some of the past blog posts I've done have been about different subjects that have, in someway, related to God and religion. Bad thing? Absolutely not :D! But, I feel inclined to talk about a certain subject that, can also be related to God, but has a more Earthly and subtle tone to it.

I just want you, the reader, to remember that as we take another blog journey together, and as you read on, that the purpose of this blog is to give you the opportunity to build upon your knowledge of Christ, and also let you feel as much love, care, and comfort that I can give you through
a simple computer screen. Enough about introductions-everyone seems to dislike them anyway ha-ha!

Friendship is one of those things that sometimes gets misconstrued in today's society. I would like to enlighten you as to some of the benefits and blessings of friendship, and how, if you don't already, you can get more out of those relationships with those people you hold close to your heart. I guess we'll start with the dictionary definition of "friend" first-might as well put it out there :)! A friend is:

"A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." 

I liked the word attached in that sentence. Notice, however, that no where does it say that a friend is simply an item to be had-"A person." I would like to point out that this post, the subjects in it, and the intention behind it is in no way meant to be taken negatively or with ill-feelings. It is merely to expound on what friendship is to me, and hopefully you as well, and give my appreciation and love to the privilege I've had of having so many wonderful, and unique friends.

I always used to wonder why-growing up in this world today, so many people focused so much on how many people they could call "friends", and how much people liked them. If you think about it, isn't that what society views as the focus and function of friends? Simply social status?  Why does it matter how "many" we have, or how much everybody "likes" us? Shouldn't we try to know people who actually "care" about us, and not just "tolerate" us?

I would like to share an example of one of my friends. It's really hard to share just one. It almost makes me teary-eyed thinking about how many people must care about me, and really pray for my success. I might use two or three ha-ha!

The first example I would like to use is one that shows friendship in a different light. I've gotten to know this certain friend over about a year, maybe a year and a half. Because of certain circumstances-him living in Sweden, and me not being rich enough to fly there :), I've only gotten to develop our relationship through other means, but it's really been a great experience. It really didn't matter that much that we couldn't have the physical side of things, and he's been a great help and support for me in times of struggle and hardship.

I don't know about you, but this life would be the worst thing in the entire universe without people to share it with, and people to help us along the way. I like to think that we are taking this journey together, and that our friends are right there beside us, holding our hands and walking with us. It's really special. If you think about it, part of the basis of life's "test" is developing friendships and love with other people. Sometimes it's hard trying to find friends, and sometimes you may feel alone, but there's always someone who loves and cares for you.

I would like you to know that as you read this, I hope you feel at least a little bit cared for. Some if not most of the problems in our degrading society today could be solved if people just tried to care for one another and become friends. I wasn't over exaggerating, nor was I being allegorical when I called friendship the "web strands of life". It is isn't it? Christ should be our foundation for life; church, scriptures, and prayer should be the map to life, and friendship should be the structure of life.

I've said in past blogs that these aren't to promote myself, nor are they to profess my expertise in any such area, but to help and uplift anyone who reads them. You're probably going to get tired of me saying that, but there it is, he-he. If you ever need someone to talk to, or give you some hope to look forward to, I know a few people ;)! I hope that you have gotten a smile out of this, and realize how precious your friends are, and how essential they are to life's journey.

Before I end this post, I'd like to share one more example of one of my friends. This is another friend who I haven't met in person, but we've talked on just about everything else you can imagine, and I have met him "face to face". Anyway, he's what I would consider as a "forever friend". Sometimes these friends are one in a million, other times they are right in front of us, but I'm taken back to the quote that states:

"Honestly, i don't need someone that sees what's good about me. i need someone that sees the bad and still wants me :)"

This certain friend has definitely seen my bad side sometimes. Yeah we've gotten furious at each other plenty of times, but he's still with me. We still talk, we still cry together, and we still uplift each other. I don't think we come by "forever friends" that often in life, and when we do we might miss them. But I can't tell you how much it makes my heart lift, and how much it makes my tears water when I feel the care that these friends have for me.

Without structure, life would fall apart-without friends, the journey isn't worth walking. So please watch out for them, and make sure you're not running the track of life's race too fast, to miss the people that are cheering you on...

I love you all, and thank you for continuing to follow my blog. I wish you a great week, and a sunny day!

Easter Seasons

Wow-first time really using a blog, but I hope it goes well!

Hello everyone! Hello all families, members, friends, and fellow Elders and Sisters. Thanks for reading! I just wanted to share a short message with everyone, and let you know what we're doing as missionaries to help the area that we are in grow. And the things we do to assist the members of the church in this area with their struggles.

For you first time readers, my name is Elder Mark Petersen, and I'm a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or otherwise the Mormon church :)! I'm serving and in the Rochester, New York mission, and am currently located near Buffalo, New York-a real special privilege  Our job or our purpose rather as missionaries is to invite people all around the world to come unto Christ, and exercise faith in him because of what he did for each and every one of us, as children of God. Hopefully, if you're reading this, you have a belief in God, or at least know that there is one, or believe in some higher power-if you don't, that's great too, and I hope I can give you a good, uplifting message.

We teach in our church that Jesus Christ came down to the world into Jerusalem to teach, minister, and establish his church upon the earth. God, the Eternal Father, sent him down to earth for a purpose, and because he loves all of us. That purpose was to teach the people of himself and his teachings, and to atone or take upon himself the sins and pains of the world. This is what we refer to as the Atonement of Christ. Before going to his death and crucifixion, Christ and his apostles stayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.  During the night, Christ left his apostles, and went by himself and began the Atonement. Every single ill feeling and bad emotion known to man; hate, anger, sadness, anxiousness, fear, etc.,every sickness, every evil, and every bad thing of the world fell upon his shoulders. The pain and anguish was so great that he began to sweat drops of blood from his body's pores-an experience that would have caused any normal to die instantly.

It's during this Easter season that we remember the sacrifice that Jesus Christ has done for us, and that he now has prepared a way for all of us to return to him and our Father in Heaven through his Atonement and Resurrection. I invite all of you who read this to ponder the message about Christ and about his experiences. Christ, the Lord, is Risen again, and he knows us. I leave you with what he told the people after his Resurrection:

"And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them. Peace be unto you. But they were terrified and afrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit. And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts? Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones as ye see me have."

Luke 24: 36

To the people and members of the Lancaster area, I give you my care and support, and hope I can get to know you better this Easter season, and watch as we all grow together in Christ. For those back home or for those who are serving missions elsewhere that I know-I give you my love and sincere affections. I know that we're doing other things that cause us to be parted, but I know as we all serve, and pray, and continue in Christ, that we'll all be just fine :).

I wish everyone a Happy Easter! Make sure you don't gorge to much on Easter candy, ha-ha!

Till next time, Bye!