A Dark Agent

There is something that I want to share with all of you wonderful followers. Something that has hit home for me really hard.

I don't know how many of you have experienced that entrenching and debilitating power of Depression, but it is an insidious agent that has the power to cripple the mightiest of foes. Why is it so hard to deal with? To recognize? To see? Why is it so prevalent in this world today?

It's a real scary thought. To think that your very mentality is being attacked by environmental and chemical combatants, that you can't necessarily see. I think that is the start of why it is so dangerous. Unlike a Flu virus or a Cold, Depression isn't immediately recognizable. It's silent, it's mental, it's emotional. If I'm coughing or vomiting, I can probably assume that I might have some sort of virus. But how could I know if Depression might be looming around my body? There are bad hair days, there are people how just push our buttons the wrong way, and there is the every present social shame of admitting that you might have a problem with your mind. It is very scary.

I'm going to quote one of our Church Authorities a lot during my blog today, because he puts it so simple and concise as to what Depression is, and what can be done about it. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated:

"We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."*
 

I like the word complexity. Depression and Mental Illness is a complex problem. It is something that is real. Right here. Right now. We need to face the reality. "There should be no more shame..." What does that mean to you? My heart and feelings goes out to those who are battling with such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's, Dementia, and other forms of serious mental illness. It is so painful to watch someone go through something so horrible, especially when you have to witness the pain from the family members of the person afflicted. I can't tell you how much what Elder Holland said about this disease meant to me. About God's love, he states:

"So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson states, “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart..."*
 

There is a lot of judgement that goes on in the world today. Everything is about me. What can I get? How can I get above that person? Why don't I have that instead of him? It seems that judgment intensifies when persons afflicted with Depression come to a realization of their affliction. It's simply horrible. My heart and empathy goes out to those who have been ostracized because of their illness. There is no more destructive act that can happen, in relation to depression, then to have those you thought were by your side, turn judgemental and condescending for something that you or someone close is battling with.

Like I said, and like Elder Holland said. I'm not talking about crazy hair days, bossy colleagues, or an "off day", I'm talking about a dark and silent agent that can take the simplest of things and reverse them into a descending depth of despair. My friends and watchers. Be alert. Be mindful. Be careful to not judge those who seem to be struggling with some inner turmoil.

You never know what someone may be going through. And you could never in your lifetime imagine the struggles or trials another person has to face. You can empathize or sympathize with somethings, but I testify that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And everyone is human. People make mistakes. People get sick. And people judge others. We need to desist from this, my friends. I have friends and family who have battled with these types of afflictions, and I myself have battled with it. I want you to remember to love these people. Treat them as you would a person with a debilitating cancer, or a severe physical ailment. With love. 

There are lots of things that are afflicting us in our day and age. I just wanted to bring to light what one of them is. Friends, thank you for support. I hope that we can all look upon people that are going through these types of mountainous challenges with a sliver of sympathy, at least. It's just another thing that we, as mortal beings have to deal with, and we need to remember that all of the people around us are mortal as well. We can all be subject to diseases like this, and we just need to help each other with our struggles.

I guess, in closing, I want to give my testimony of Jesus Christ. He really did experience all. All of our worries. All of our fears. All of our sufferings. He truly is the ultimate advocate. I know that He loves each and every one of us. I know He loves me. I know he wants the very best for all, and that he and Jesus Christ really truly love all of us. Why would they have done everything they have done if they didn't? Thank you for reading and listening. I hope that somebody somewhere can be helped or uplifted by my message. Have a wonderful day!

Like a Broken Vessel, October General Conferance 2013, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Equations Rule Life

Life is one tough equation isn't it? Full of great divides, some positives, multiple negatives, and tons of variables huh? I don't think there is one great solution to our dividends and our problems. There are multiple ways of tackling a difficult problem, but multiple ways of solving

As in math, one has to first identify the part of an equation that needs to be completed before one can actually start on the equation. You then have to examine and find the right variable to input into the equation to solve the problem. Life is a paradoxical equation. There are simple variables, but there are equally and contrasty difficult ones. Each situation and constant is different, yet the same. Where one could divide and conquer a situation, another would problem add and then multiply. So which constant for life can you use with the different constructs of variables to make Life work?

A few months ago, I discovered a sheet that had seven different "rules", if you will, to Life. At first, they seemed quite general and broad, but on closer inspection, they were quite cool. I'd like to share them with you and give my own insights on how each one has fit into different "equations" that I'm dealing or have dealt with in my experience. I hope that through my personal introspection, I can hopefully help someone who reads this! We'll just take each step one by one, and take apart the different sets of the phrases, to better understand the variables and constants we're dealing with for our brushes with Life's problems.


Rule 1: Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

There are things in everyone's past that sometimes sneak out and haunt us. You wouldn't be human without your own skeletons hidden away in some closet. The point and purpose of the past is to be a bridge to your future. The bad mistakes will always seem more apparent then good feelings, but it's both the good and the bad that shape us as human beings and continue building our foundations higher. For me, there's a lot of things I wish I had a DeLorean for, but I guess I wouldn't be who I am right now without some of those things. We've all had that embarrassing moment, failed projects, disappointing results, and things that sometimes fly back at us in the future, but you're human, just make peace with it. We're not perfect, nor should anyone ever hold us to the standard of perfection, because they'd be a hypocrite. Breath, accept, and know that at least you're trying!

Rule 2: What others think of you, is none of your business.

You're looking at a self-identified perfectionist ha-ha. If your tick is to make things perfect, it'd be hard to not think of what others think right? Yep! So, take it from moi that, even though it's really, really hard, just forget about what people think. I don't care if it's Miss America blazoning the Olympic Torch, and sitting on a Lamborghini Aventador, she still wouldn't be perfect. That's because life is an ongoing equation. It's like pi times pi squared, then multiplied and added to a pi to the tenth. It's ongoing!! No one, no matter how perfect they look, is perfect. Everyone has there own demons, their own variables, and their own problems. It's really hard-believe me, not to obsess about what others believe about you. But it really is none of your business. You're a special and unique individual with your own talents, gifts, and personality that you work on! So, smile and just let that Mr. Popular walk by you. You'll probably never see him again anyway!

Rule 3: Time heals almost anything. Give it time. 

This is true for a lot of things we deal with. Sometimes it's the only thing that can really heal injuries. Notice how a lot of these things are connected and work together to make this "Life Schematic". I think Time really just dampens some of the possible pain that may continue seeping outwards from a bad experience. You still may remember the experience, but it's the knowledge and stuff that you learned from it more then the pain I think. I've always said that Time is one of those things that may not always be constant. It could speed up or slow down, maybe even skip by us, but it is also a healer and helper for experiences which are hard to go through. It can heal almost anything!

Rule 4: Don't compare your life to others, and don't judge them. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 

This is closely related with number two. We really don't know what others have been through, do we? Why is that person acting so negatively toward us? Why are they so impatient? What really happens when they're at home? The fact is that there is hardly ever a time in this life when we should ever judge someone for something, and hardly should be emphasized. You have no idea what a person has ever been through or how many miles they've had to walk to get to the point where they've met you. I said it just previously. It's so hard not to compare, but there isn't really anyway you can compare, because you don't know what's hidden beneath a person. How much shaping, heartache, or suffering they've gone through. This is why it's so sad to see bullying in this world today, from both sides of the spectrum. The victims and the bullies just don't know how to deal with any of it, and they just follow the pathetic social norm of achievement comparison and situational attitude, meaning that they just take what they see and what a person may look like, and use that as a judgement indicator. Sorry, but if you do that, then you're gravely mistaken. Focus on your life's journey, and help others in theirs, but just don't judge!

Rule 5: Stop thinking too much, it's alright not to know the answers. They will come to you when you least expect it.

You mean I have to be patient?! Dang it! Curse you unexpected answers, ha-ha! I've been known to overthink things plenty of times, and let me tell you-it doesn't help. We really don't have to know everything. That was never the plan, nor do we have the capability to know everything, and I can't tell you how many times I've been searching for something; whether it be an answer to a question, a writing topic, or just some comfort for lil' old me, the answer came in the weirdest place. So never underestimate where you could get an answer, because it could come in the shower or on the freeway!

Rule 6: No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.  

That is a true statement! Attitude is definitely everything. Being around negative and sarcastic people sucks doesn't it? But, we still hold the responsiblitiy to be our own person and not let others' actions affect us in the wrong way. It's hard! But, we can do it. Just pat yourself on the back for that good patience, because we all get into that situation one time or another!

Rule 7: Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world.

We don't own them. The world is too complex and stupid to try and own every problem in it. You are your own person, and I am my own person. There's lots of things that we could all be depressed about for years, but really, as long as we're doing what we're supposed to, and having fun and living life with those we care about, everything is good. We (that's me too!), need to just smile and let the world just pass on by, because the world will always change for better or for worse, but we can control our own endeavors, and just spend time enjoying life!

I really just offer my realization and testimony of the living Christ that should be the basis for our lives. Notice how each of these could tie in perfectly to how Christ emulated his love for mankind and the attributes he truly showed in his ministry to the people. These may seem like simple steps, but I think that if we take a few of them and really use them with a basis on the Savior, we can achieve great things. I just am so grateful for the limitless blessings that I've had in my life.

I couldn't count them if I wanted to. I can't imagine the agony that Christ went through for us. I'm so thankful to have friends and family in this world, and for little snippets of council like these to help me, and hopefully to help you, on our journey through this complex, mysterious, and scary life. We're not alone though! I know we have Christ with us, and I also give you my love, and hope that you can take away at least a smile from my post! Till I blog again :)!

 

Whisper of the Heart

A Personal Inception

Sometimes we get down on ourselves don't we? Life's road is usually cracked, windy, and maybe even sometimes broken. There are bumps all around it, and we have a hard time navigating them. Why is that? Have you looked at yourself recently and asked, "Who am I?" I have. It's been a life long journey up to this point. Every time I think of it, every time I think I'm close, it slips away. Why? Because it's a journey, it's not a destination.

I talked about this a little bit in my last post, when I talked about being in the Eye of the Storm, but now I want to focus on that personal journey that we all have to find ourselves. I'm not an expert in any respect. In fact, I'm wrestling with myself and my mind to continue making progress in my own journey. It's difficult. I've shed many a tear and hugged many a floor, wondering how to keep going. So how would we?

For me, I've done lots of searching. Searching the Bible, the Book of Mormon-reading guides and studies, praying every single day, and doing a lot of self study. It's hard, because we sometimes don't know when we've reached the next step, or when we've achieved that next tier in knowledge.

I recently read an article that outlined some of the basic steps to finding yourself. I almost cried reading it. Most of the things it talks about, have been things that I've been searching, wrestling, crying, or searching for for a while. It didn't give me any dominate answers, but it gave me something to start from. I'd like to outline a few of its points, as well as input a few of my own gospel points in.

For me, my challenges are mostly emotional, especially at the present time. Most everything else is fine (Though, none of them are ever perfect), but I'm definitely working on that side of me more then anything. I don't mind talking about myself, but usually I'm quite reserved in "who" I talk to about it. I always have this fear that by revealing some of my mistakes or vulnerabilities, that I'll just come out more broken. I'll put that fear aside for now, at least with a few of these challenges that I'll share with you.

I recognize myself as a perfectionist. It's not a boastful label nor is it a horrible trait, but it is a challenge for me in lots of respects. Sometimes I try so hard to be perfect; to love everyone, to be nice and neat always, and to do my best in things I do, but with perfection as my bar, I never succeed. Now, if I'm talking about it, I must recognize that I have this tendency or trait, right? 

So, why is it so hard? It's because it's a mental way of thinking. It's part of my personality. Can I change it? Honestly, I don't know, but I just know that I have to find someway of letting it in and fusing with me. You can only fight yourself so long before you lose, and I've gotten to that point many times. That's one of the rules of life though: Nobody is perfect, and we don't need to be concerned about being loved by everyone. That's something that's hard for most people, including me. I love the quote by Raymond Hull that says:

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." 

It's hard to do this sometimes, but we need to accept ourselves and realize that we are very special people. This goes along with self worth and self confidence. Again, something that I'm working on, but we need to accept that each of us are special, and we have talents that we've been blessed with.

There was two or three main points from the article that I will mention now. The first subject on one of the "Steps to Personal Discovery" was entitled, "Let go of the need to be loved by all."

This is something that I think is difficult for many people. We want to be accepted don't we? It's our nature to want praise and affection for the things that we do or the achievements we get, but let's face facts. With nearly six billion people on the world (Don't quote me on that statistic!), we can't get along or be loved by everyone. Someone somewhere is going to hate or dislike us for reasons we don't know. Just accept that you won't get along with everyone. You have friends and family who, hopefully, love you, and even though everyone may not like you, you're still a wonderful person who has gifts and talents to use through your life.

The second point that I'd like to outline is, "Immerse yourself in Solitude." 

This is definitely true for myself. Everyone needs time alone, whether you're the "Chatty Cathy" or the "Shy Stewart". The article clearly describes that solitude is a time for rejuvenation, self-talk, and utter peace. Reading that sentence gave me a lot of peace. I love to discuss things with myself inside my mind. I find that, even when I can't turn to anyone else, I am my greatest listener. If we don't stop and think once and a while, our brains go into overload. How can you expect to find peace if you've burnt out the 'memory boards' of your brain? Not possible. Everything needs rest, and that goes for your mind and your feelings too.

For me, my time consists of quiet pondering, simple writing, and soft prayers. I would consider myself a creative person at heart, and it really is something when I can just sit down and let my mind zoom through the universes and feel that peace. 

The final point I'd like to talk about is, "Be ready for Dead Ends." 

I told you at the start that reading this article made me tear up, and the following point and quotation is one of the reasons why. I love you all. Thank you for coming into my life and for teaching me many, many things about myself. I will leave you, my good reader, with this quote, and bid you a wonderful time till we blog again :). Be safe, and remember that you always have a caring friend right here. 

Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. A lot of it is trial and error. That's the price you pay in return for the satisfaction you receive: More often than not, you hit a bump in the road, and sometimes you fall flat on your face. Be prepared to understand and accept that this is a part of the process, and commit to getting right back up and starting over. 

Credits:

www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself 

Life's Conundrum Undone

It seems a lot in life, we focus a lot on something that shouldn't receive so much attention or worried feelings about. We forget sometimes as humans that we are living beings and are part of the entire natural world on the earth. Sometimes we fear or focus on death as that final crack of the gavel on the judges stand, or the end of a tape that's playing, but it's not. I guess it's just that fear of the unknown that is really the issue or the reason why the aspect and eventuality of death is so jarring. It is a scary thought though, especially if you aren't part of any religious organization or church the preaches there is life after death. As you may have guessed, I'd be one member of one of those religious organizations :)!

You've heard me mention the church that I'm a member, and currently a missionary for, many times I'm sure. For the purposes of this blog I'll refer to it as the Mormon Church, as that seems to be the name most people recognize. Anyway-I'd like to touch on our basic beliefs about death, life, and what we teach and believe to the people that we meet. It would be scary honestly-if I didn't have the knowledge that I do now through being in the church. It would be a heart-wrenching experience to lose a family member in the natural way of life, and not know where they are.

Have you ever asked those life questions to yourself? Where did we come from? Where do we go when we die? Why is there suffering on this earth? Why did my family member have to pass away? What am I supposed to do? Why is life so hard? I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

We know from the Bible, both the Old and New Testaments, that Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father (God), have made promises with different groups of people and given us teachings down through the ages to be happy and sound in our lives today. Jesus Christ then came down and established his church, called apostles, and ministered unto the people. Eventually, after three years, he atoned for the sins of the world in the Garden of Gethsemane, as recorded in the New Testament, and was crucified on Calvary the following day. We know that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, but why is he exactly? Well, here we go!

Our gospel teaches us (The Bible and the Book of Mormon-which will be elaborated on in the near future), that we all lived with heaven with Heavenly Premortal Life. In this life, we lived as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, but we weren't like our Father in an important way. He had a resurrected, perfect body of flesh and bones, and we were still spirits. Because of this, our Heavenly Father, out of pure love for us, created a plan for use to be able to have the chance to become like him, receive a body, and grow in many ways.

The plan is labelled the Plan of Salvation or the Plan of Happiness in the Bible and Book of Mormon. That is God's purpose in a nutshell:

"For behold, this is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39, Pear of Great Price). 

To accomplish this, God instructed Jesus Christ to create the Earth for us to be able to receive bodies and to grow with them through the tests of mortality. We needed a savior though, to pay the price of sin, death, and suffering that would result from being born into a mortal world. As you could guess, Jesus Christ volunteered to be the savior and pledged all the glory to the Father as he suffered for the sins of the world to protect the agency of man. But another volunteered as well. Lucifer told the Father saying,

"Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor." (Moses 4:1, Pearl of Great Price).

Because of this, and his desire to rebel and take away man's agency, he and everyone who followed him was cast out of heaven. Those who chose to follow Christ and thereby chose to come down to earth to receive a body, and take part in this wonderful plan. Because you are here, you chose to follow Christ :D!

From the Bible, we have the account of the creation of course and of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They both were created in God's image, and they were perfectly innocent and lived in God's presence. Eventually though, Eve was tempted by the serpent or Satan to partake of the forbidden fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil-something God had forbidden them to do. Because of this, Adam had to choose to either remain in the Garden and follow the second commandment, or follow Eve and thereby doing, fulfill the first and higher commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth."

As you could guess, he chose the latter and thereby introduced sin, suffering  and mortality into the worlds, as was the plan from the beginning. That is our purpose of life on earth-to learn grow, and find peace with God and to gain a body of flesh and bones just like the Father has. That is the reason we have commandments from Heavenly Father and why we have our God-given agency. We have it so we can learn and grow, and learn to come to our Heavenly Father in love and dependence. Because of our fallen state however, we need a savior, Jesus Christ, to pay the price of sin and suffering, and to also overcome physical and spiritual death.

Because Jesus Christ came down to earth, as stated before, atoned for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, and was killed and risen from the dead-we will all be resurrected and can become clean from our sins by using his Atonement, and coming unto him. Christ will forgive our sins if we have faith in Him and his Atonement, repent and try our best to correct our wrongs, be baptized like he was by John the Baptist, receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and continue enduring and using Christ and God to help and love us!

That's a lot of information, I know. But doesn't it make sense? Why would we have this beautiful Earth, the millions upon millions of universes, and all of this evidence of a higher power? Doesn't that give you hope? Maybe comfort for a loved one? I hope so. But I'll explain the last part of this "Plan" before I digress.

We are all mortal, and unfortunately we all must die eventually. After death, our spirits will go to the Spirit World, as described by the Apostle Peter in Peter chapter 4 in the New Testament, and we will either live in a state of peace or misery depending on how we lived through our life. This isn't the end, only a waiting period where the people who've accepted Christ and have lived good lives can rest, and where the people who haven't, and who live in doubt and sometimes misery, will have a chance to accept Christ!

After Christ's Second Coming, everyone will eventually be resurrected, never to die again, and having perfect and immortal bodies. We will return to God's presence to be judged according to the works and desires that we had on this Earth life. If we repented, and tried our best to do good in life, then we will receive mercy.

After being judged, we will go into one of three kingdoms of Heaven: Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial. The Celestial Kingdom, or the glory of the sun, is where the people who've accepted Christ, and fulfilled the tenants above the best they could, and have accepted his Atonement, will go to reside with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The Terrestrial Kingdom, or the glory of the moon, is those who lived honorable lives, but haven't accepted the fullness of the gospel. Finally, The Telestial Kingdom, or the glory of the stars, is for those who continued in their sins and did not repent in this life (1 Corinthians 15, New Testament).

Our goal should be the Celestial Kingdom, and we all hope that everyone can get there. I testify that this Plan is divinely inspired and is so special and great in going through life's hardships and challenges. I love you guys! I hope that this all makes sense. If not, ask questions :D! I think this truly is the unwinding that we all need to "Life's Conundrum", and is how we, as a people, can have hope and love toward each other, and happiness and faith for the future!

Love you guys, and have a fantastic week!

Love: An Eternal Remedy for Pain

I don't know about anyone else, but I just love love. Does that make sense? No? He-he, well I'll explain that statement! It doesn't matter if you're a parent, a child; student, or spouse, a sister, or a brother-we all can feel love. There are some people in the world-maybe even you reading these words right now, who unfortunately haven't gotten to feel loved or cared for. I'm truly sorry if you haven't, but I hope that with this, and as you read my words, that you can feel that love that I have for you already.

You may ask, "Well how can this person
who I don't know already love me?" Good question, and here's the answer: It's because I know that everyone has worth, and most people, if you’re really look deep enough, just need a hug or at least some form of affection or acknowledgement. Am I professing to be this wonderful, love-filled person, who just goes around and hugs everyone? No. I do love hugs, but I'm still a human. I still get frustrated, upset, and impatient with many things-including people, but that's part of life and part of being a human. I may not be able to look at everyone I meet and just be a loving person upfront, but I do try my best.

I really like how the dictionary defines love. It's simple, sweet, and you can really feel love for the definition, if that isn't an epitome of a cliché'. Love is defined as a profoundly, tender, passionate affection for another person. It's really easy isn't it, to become frustrated with someone? It seems that it is really easy for us to look at a person and automatically start finding what's wrong with him or her. We all do it-I do it, no one is innocent from this, but it's something that we can improve and work on as we grow closer to one another.

Think of how much different life would be-how different the world would be, if people took a step back, and got over themselves. Remember that as I'm talking, this is applying to everyone including myself :)! But think about it. Think about the conflicts, the economic condition, the programs, the welfare, the poverty, disease, despair, and fear-All of it. What would fix everything? Do I need to say it? Apparently I do, because the world hasn't gotten it yet unfortunately. It's love, my friends.

As a member and representative of Jesus Christ, and of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I've had the opportunity to study the Bible, and the other main book of scripture that we use called-The Book of Mormon. Now I won't get into too much detail about the book just yet, as I want to focus on this overlying idea of love, but basically the Book of Mormon is an ancient and past record of the people and prophets of the American continent that lived here many generations ago. Similar to the Bible-which is an ancient record of the prophets and people that lived in Egypt, Israel, and Jerusalem-the Book of Mormon goes hand-in-hand with the Bible to relate truths that the Bible leaves slightly vague or unexplained.

Within the Book of Mormon, near the end, one of the prophets is describing Jesus Christ, and what his example and his teachings should mean to us. I'm going to quote from the prophet Moroni-one of the last prophets in this record, and this is in the 7th chapter of Moroni near the end of the Book of Mormon:

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things...But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him..." (Moroni 7: 45, 47-Book of Mormon)

Let's think about that for a moment. So charity is the pure love of Christ. Love. And it endureth all things and is forever. My readers, friends, fellow ministers, and loving family-Love is the antidote to pain, and is the remedy for any and all situations that cause grief. I hope that if you're reading this, you've felt loved-because I love you. I'm not perfect. No. But through my experiences up to this point in life, I know that to feel loved and cared for is one of the most special and intimate feelings in the universe.

I testify and exhort you to try to love a little more. But more important than trying to love others, you need to start loving yourself as well. If you can't love yourself, you can't love other people. We're all different people. This ignorant status-quo paradigm that the world has shoved into our faces is absolutely and irrevocably false, and it's getting worse and worse. You. Yes you reading these words right now. You are special; this is me telling you right now, that you are loved! Look in the mirror, and give yourself a hug from me :)!

That's something I pray for everyday-to be able to have a better capacity to love, because I don't have the best control in the world-who does? But I know that Jesus Christ loves me, and so does our Heavenly Father. It may be hard. I know that some people have a harder time of loving themselves and other people than others-I'm probably one of them, but just remember:

"Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thysel: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 18:19-Old Testament)

It's really hard sometimes I know that, but just stay strong, and if anything just love yourself and realize that you are loved ^_^!

I would finally exhort you to seek out for people to give you love-sometimes you just need someone to say something nice to you, or to acknowledge you. I would put my invitation out there that if anyone needs some care, you can always seek Jesus Christ...and the Elders :D!

I love you my friends, and fare thee well till next time!

An Ever Constant Companion

When's the last time you've looked for beauty? Have you ever stared out a window, just to see the motions of the air? The rain on the street? Streaking lights of the cars flying by? How about the trees moving in the wind, or leaves falling to the ground? The simple streams or short straits catch your eye? You ever stay outside or get up early to see the rays of sun rise and fall over the horizon? There is beauty all around us.

In a world of many changing ideals-increased conflicts, wars, crime, political bravado, falling values, and disintegrating families-it's hard. The noise and the contention of the world is the driving nail into the smooth board of our lives. It's ever increasing. And more and more nails are being driven in. Sometimes we're moving so fast we can't breathe, or take a second to think.

Time is that eternal mystery, and the sole controlling force of our lives. Can we control it? No. Can we explain it? Temporarily-yes, but eventually it ascends all explanation. Is time bad? No. Time is control, and is a partner to go through this life and take on the trials of ourselves. Everything can be healed with time, and by using Jesus Christ's example to accept his love. Time lets us remember, but also lets us forget. It seems to speed up or slow down-sometimes disappears, but it's always there reminding us that, while it is our companion, we eventually have to face the end of our journey, and follow in Christ's footsteps.

We miss so much because we focus on things that really don't have any value. Time is a neutral, universal law, and like I said-a companion, but if we let it, our time can run out, and we might have missed the beauty around us, and the love we could feel from Christ, family, friends, and spouses. It's amazing how much we fascinate about time, and the thoughts about the future, the present-time travel, or prophecy, and seeing the future.

I'm taken back to one of my favorite films of all time-Robert Zemetricks', Back to the Future. In it, young Marty McFly is obvious feeling disappointed with his life, and his seemingly unlucky status, and fear of rejection, but through the power of "science", and the whimsical genius of Doc. Emmett Brown, he travels back in time to when his parents are young. Through different experiences, he learns that while the world and time are always changing, family is always timeless, and love transcends all barriers.

You may ask what any of this has to do with anything? Well, I pose my opening question to you again? When's the last time you looked for beauty? I invite you to look out the window next time, or give your brother or spouse a big, warm hug. Maybe snuggle a bit. We're all walking with our different companion-time, Christ, and our families  and our journey through this mortal life is ever getting shorter, and nearing it's end.

I quote a recognizable truth that's been said, as to the original author-I know not, but regardless of who first pronounced it-the truth of the words is ever there.

"Living without Love and Hope isn't really living at all, and is an empty life, full of heartache" 

Please make sure that you don't let time slip away from you, and that you spend time with those you love most and give them your attention and your affections, so that you can take this journey of time together, and look back and say: "Thank you, time, you've been my friend, and showed me how to love, and now I can go with you to rest." I love you all-my family, friends, and fellow missionaries here in New York. I know and testify that we are doing a wonderful work, and that we are truly blessed and thought for by many, many people-including our Heavenly Father and his son-our brother, Jesus Christ.

God be with you, Till we meet again. 

Endurance: Pathway to Joy

It's awe inspiring really. The endurance of the people of the world. We go about our lives-regardless of religious association, or spiritual background, or church beliefs; and we experience. We go through life and experience hardship. Our money gets tight, our jobs fall through, our bodies fall ill, and our families contend, but life goes on with miracles happening everyday. I want to talk about endurance, and how it can be a blessing, and a way to grow closer to our families, to our friends, and to our God.

I've been a Boy Scout all my life, and have been dedicated enough to reach the rank of Eagle Scout. As I reflect on my past experiences of my scouting career, and some of the things that I learned along the way, I'm grateful for my parent's eager support and my leaders dedicated service to helping me along the way. Now what does this have to do with endurance? Well-I'll tell you.

In 2008, I was a Life Scout, and was participating quite well in the Varsity Scout program-a program that focuses on outdoor activities and team building experiences within our group. We had the extreme privilege of going to the Philmont National Scout Ranch in the summer. For those of you who don't know, or who aren't aware-Philmont is one, if not the biggest, scout camp in the country-maybe even in the world. It's located in Cimmaron, New Mexico, and spans a good portion in the middle of the state. Anyway-for a scout-Philmont was that one experience that everyone wished for-and I got to go. I was excited, and nervous at the same time. The trek lasted about 15 days-during which, a group would choose a different "itinerary" to follow for the trek, and then hike on a specific path that would range from 50 to 140 miles across New Mexico.

The physical challenge was crystal clear from the beginning, but what about emotionally? At that present time-yes I had been away from my family for short periods, and had experienced trials and challenges, but this was different. 15 days in the middle of New Mexico with just 10-12 people to hike with me-it was a daunting task, but one that looked rewarding and still very fun.

The day came when we embarked on our travel to the state by charter bus. It was a great and challenging day-filled with packing, checking, paperwork, and other things, but also that sweet, tender goodbye to the ones we loved. We departed to go on this physically challenging journey-the departure was difficult, but we all did it, and boarded the bus. After a very long bus ride, we finally arrived at the Philmont Ranch. Now, I won't go into exquisite detail-but I'll tell you a few things, and my experience with the whole trek. The first day was filled with many orientations and paperwork-getting our things put in our tents and any valuables or electronics that we wouldn't be needing, into lockers and safe boxes.

It was a bitter-sweet experience-the arrival "induction" that we attended that night. They welcomed us, did a few awesome shows and things, and gave us some more information about our upcoming journey. The beginning of a journey is always a fluid one-full of mixed emotions, and exciting prospects. We were excited, but the task ahead was long, and we were all aware of that.

To make a long story a little bit shorter-the first few days out on the trail were difficult-very much so. But we grew closer as a scout team, and our experiences activities were once-in-a-lifetime chances. Of course we totally blew the "roof" off of the trek by doing some amazing things-black powder shooting, archery, mountain climbing, drinking homemade root beer, and having a donkey ha-ha :D! The trek was long and hard-many, many miles were had, and our boots and our feet showed it. I think I even had a blister for half the trek, but we always had each other and the Lord to help us in times of hardship, and even got to perform the Sacrament on the trek-a very spiritual and enriching experiencing for young men such as us.

Anyway-during each mile, during each hardship-I always tried to look forward, to look toward hope and rely upon my friends and my God to help me have the strength to endure. I had the privilege of having my birthday during this and-although short and sweet, I was able to read a letter that my parents had previously prepared and sent with me for that day. It was a tender, caring letter filled with love and encouragement for my young mind, which to me-really, really helped.

Do a little time skip here :)!

At the end of all this, and as we were driving home on the bus, I looked out the window, and as I looked back at the Tooth of Time-a mountain formation that is very known at Philmont, I just thought about all my experiences and all my trials I faced during that time. There were many, but I can honestly and with full heart say that I didn't complain or murmur about my circumstances, and even though some days were freezing cold-getting up at 4 in the morning, I tried my best, and I and my fellow team members overcame our 88 mile trek across New Mexico.

"When you feel discouraged, thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!" (Count Your Blessings; hymn 241)

I invite you readers to always trust in the Lord. Now five years later after Philmont-I'm here as a missionary and representative of Jesus Christ. It's had it's hard times, and there are trials to which I'm working toward and through, but I know that I couldn't even do anything without Jesus Christ, and without his spirit blessing me and giving me comfort and love. I testify that he is the Christ and leave you with this thought and invitation.

"Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: I know that my Redeemer lives"(I know that my Redeemer lives; hymn 135)

My loving friends and readers-family members and fellow missionaries, I know that my Redeemer lives, and I invite you to watch General Conference this weekend and partake of that spiritual dose of truth, and of Christ to help you. Just know that I love all of you-so much, and I hope and pray that I can help you in anyway I can. I hope that I can be comforted and helped myself by Christ so I can do this for him. Thank you!

I wish you a good weekend and General Conference season!